Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize