Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
