Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i think im in europe. pls send help
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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