lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize