She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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