you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
