I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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