if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
