"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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