do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
