This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
