Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
