We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
