every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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