Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize