Is it normal to miss your booty call?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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