He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
