She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
