If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
