Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
