we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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