Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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