How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
