Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
