He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
