You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
