i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
