I hope mine doesn't look like that
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
