So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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