hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
