It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
