Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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