i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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