Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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