If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
