fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
