Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You're a waste of cheezeits
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
