If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize