My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
