i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
