last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
