i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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