He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
