if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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