those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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