Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
