Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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