You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
