A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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