Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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