so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
