All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
