She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
