So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
is that a dick in a sweater?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
