It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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