got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
