I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
